To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize