ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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