Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He felt like a one man threesome
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
