She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
