She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
