Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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