4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
