Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
