Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
