worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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