The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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