I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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