Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club

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(416): View more from Ontario

Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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(361): View more from Texas

I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

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(523): View more from

Hey did where's my bong?

(1-523): View more from

In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right

(523): View more from

Should I bother to ask?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain

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(319): View more from Iowa

Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.

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(206): View more from Washington

My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject

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