The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Randomize
