i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize