some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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