So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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