So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize