Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
