just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize