im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
