OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
