so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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