i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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