I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
