If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i think i just lost a toe
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
