going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
