did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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