my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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