Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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