and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
should my penis look like a turkey
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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