KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
