She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
