Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
