i just google imaged poop.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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