i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So much Jack, so little girl.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
