I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
