is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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