Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize