Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My bed smells like the plague
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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