WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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