dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
