I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
