Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
