i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
