If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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