what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
