i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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