Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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