fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Terrible idea I love it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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