Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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