lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
