I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
