I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
