She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
