this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
