"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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