You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
