i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They are going to name an STD after you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
