Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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