At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
