walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
