shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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