the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
