Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
