its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
