Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
