I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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