I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
