Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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