Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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