I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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