Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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